Today, I'm the driver

I felt a little less helpless today. I took Dani to an appointment at the Queensway-Carleton Hospital. She had an "echocardiogram". Any cancer patient who's treatment plan includes chemotherapy requires one to ensure the heart is strong enough to withstand the drugs.

Driving. Parking. Remember the parking ticket. Navigating the hospital. Paying for parking. They may be little things but if I take care of them then they are things she doesn't have to worry.

Dani's appointment is at 11:00 am but I took the day off not knowing where it would take us. I am fortunate where I have the total support of my boss and colleagues at work. 

We plan to leave just after 10. I'm at her place by 9:45. She's still getting ready so I do the dishes. By 10:05 one hand is wrapped around the door handle with keys in the other. Dani is still gathering her things. I'm trying not to act completely impatient. #epicfail

We jump in the truck at 10:15. Not too bad considering we were on "Dani Time."

The hospital staff are all fantastic - from the volunteer at the front who helped us get to where we needed to go to the sonogrammer (hope that's his title) and everyone else we encountered along the way.

The nurse invites me in the room while Dani has her tests done. Huh. Wonder if they think we're together? Dani lies on the table and he explains what's going to happen. He then opens her gown.

While I've seen and felt the infamous "lumpy boob" before, today it is different. Today it's the enemy. Today it has become an the opponent; the defendant is ready to fight back though.

The test itself doesn't take long. We're in and out pretty quickly. Dani and I fight at the parking machine over who is going to pay. I win. 

I bring up lunch. I'd like to have some one-on-one time with her as I don't get much of it these days. Everyone is biding for her attention. But she's tired and I 100% appreciate that. Between emotions, caring for two young boys and trying to make sense of this all (which I'm not sure we ever will) I don't know how she is standing. 

But my bestie is in fight mode. And she needs a nap before the next round. Home James.