My Besties Boobies: Heartache

Today my heart aches...beyond words. I have feared this from the day we brought her home six and a half years ago. It is through a river of tears that I share the passing of our princess, Maddie.

I have never been superstitious. But Friday, December 13th was the worst.day.ever when Aaron and I unexpectedly lost our baby girl. Many of you know her as #suckhole as I managed to brand her through social media. She was a 110 pound suck who loved everyone just as much as they loved her. She was a happy girl who would roam the neighbourhood luring people in with her cuteness for treats.

Over the past few weeks we noticed things were off. When she stopped eating last week we made an appointment. While we waited for the "she's just got a this or that go home and give her some love" we were delivered a gut-wrenching bomb. Following a number of tests and x-rays, Maddie was diagnosed with a form of blood cancer that was attacking her organs. Literally. There was also a mass between her liver and GI Track. We're not sure if it was a cancerous tumour or her spleen on the verge of rupturing. Either way it was bleeding out.

We had asked to bring her home for the weekend but between her rapid decline and the internal bleeding, another route was recommended. We said our goodbyes to our beloved baby girl on the spot.

So, over the next few weeks I ask that you just bear with me. My heart has been shattered. Absolutely shattered. Today is the first day I got out of bed on my own.

We decided to have her cremated. This morning I made the arrangements. I was stoic for most of the conversation and then overcome with emotion. How is this could happen right before Christmas? Why did this have to happen to her? To us? She was our life. She HAD the perfect life. I just want her back.