Chaos

They waste no time. On Friday my bestie had both of her breasts removed. Saturday? She was sent home. Don't-let-the-door-hit-you-on-the-way-out kinda feeling. At least for me. My stomach is in knots. Nothing like we're going to cut off your boobs now get the fuck out.

The kiddos were at Aunt Paul's for the weekend so James was able to bring her home to a quiet house. I am grateful that they appreciate they need time to adjust. They are discharged around 2:00 in the afternoon. Part of my feels like I should be at the house. It's not to say that James can't manage this but maybe an extra set of hands would be helpful. But I need to respect boundaries.

Overall it's an uneventful return which is a good thing. I get a text from Dani that evening. It brings me some peace. This is normal for us so I'm glad for it's return.

I worry all weekend but again, another person at the house isn't going to help the situation. I'm a very visual person. I need to be able to see or feel something to get a true sense of it. The few text messages from Dani and James aren't giving me that much comfort that things are actually OK.

On Sunday Dani's mom moves in for the week (this is part of the schedule that we developed - but that's a whole other post. Trust me. Planner versus "I'll be fine". You can imagine how that went over). The boys return Sunday evening. James is off on Monday while the kiddos return to their routine - daycare & school.

Tuesday. Cue chaos.

As James just started a new job in February, he has to go back to work. Part of the schedule is Dani's sister Paul would be there to help their mom out. Seven thirtyish I'm getting ready for work when I get the first text from Dani. "Paul not here yet." Followed by "Gar running with steak knife" then "Gar just grabbed my drain".

Fuck me. "I'm on my way."

I hate to say it but I KNEW this wasn't going to go over well. Let's just say common sense isn't always her mom's best strength.

At 8:30 am I pull in the driveway. I casually walk-in just to "see how things are going" so not to offend anyone. Paul has finally made it down and taken Anderson to daycare. I let Dani's mom make me a tea and sit at the dining room table. Order has resumed.

Pauline gets back to the house and sits down with us. I get the low-down on the past few days.

By this point it looks like Dani is about to fall over. I put her to bed. This is the first time I've seen her since the surgery. The stress in her eyes says it all - this morning was too much. I can tell her head is spinning.

"We'll figure it out. Don't worry."

Before you know it she's doped up and off to la-la-land. Wish I could go there too.